In Mablethorpe in Lincolnshire, on his summer holiday,
A guy strumming his old guitar, got on the stage to play,
but the song that he was singing, fell upon deaf ears,
nobody was listening, they were too busy drinking beer.
There was Vodka for the beach babes, and lager for their hunks,and,
Everyone in "Golden Sands"* got paraletic drunk.
A bronzed beach god from Birmingham was lingering at the bar,
trying to pull himself a bird while having a few jars,
the ladies soon got tiered of him, he was such a bore,
they said he'll never pull a lass with what he's got in his drawers.
A scots guy from Kirkaldy, he spent all day in bed,
because he has the ginger hair and sunshine turns him red,
but all night he spent drinking, 20 pints before sunrise,
then he threw up in the caravan & blamed it on the pies.
Rasta-man from Uxbridge, came with his mam & dad,
he posed like a Zulu prince, he thought he was "well bad",
then around about, half past ten, his mam came in & said:
"Grab your cardigan Winston, it's time you was in bed"
An Essex girl from Harlow, blond hair & ruby lips,
with a tattoo on her butox, and another on her HIPS,
I offered her, a bit of my rock, as you would do for a friend:
then she leant across the table and bit a chunk right off the end.
(add a topical verse here if possible!)
Rep't Chorus, and do a soopa doopa poopa skoopa flamenco type end, or just stop.
Words (c) Dave Forshaw, Samhanesson music 1999.
original song "Fell of the back of a boat" By Vin Garbutt, super star.